So, our birth adventure with Squish actually started the Monday before she was born. We went in to get monitored because we were five days past our due date and it’s something they required if we weren’t going to let them induce us. At the monitoring appt, they said that her baseline heart rate was low and ended up admitting us to the hospital.
I was nowhere near ready to give birth. Squish wasn’t ready and my body wasn’t ready. My cervix was still pretty hard and I was only about 1 cm dilated. Squish had been breach from weeks 32 to 37. She was also really high so even after she turned, she wasn’t really pushing down on my cervix. Because of this, there wasn’t really any action happening.
The doctor on call that night decided that he wanted to give me Cervadil (some kind of insert that’s supposed to start labor). They left it in me for 12 hours and I only dilated to 1.5 cm. There was no other action so my next options were either another insert that they would give me every four hours OR I could do the balloon catheter. At this point they were not pushing Pitocin on me because I was not dilated enough making it useless and unsafe. I ended up opting for the balloon catheter because I really didn’t want more drugs in my body. The balloon catheter is supposed to get me dilated to about 4.5-5cm and then hopefully kick start labor. Well, it got me to about 4 cm in 10 hours and then nothing happened. There were no other signs of labor, no contractions, nothing.
Finally, my OB came in and told me that we were wasting their time and they were wasting our time if I wasn’t going to let them give me Pitocin at this point. AND, she also said that Squish’s heart rate had looked great pretty much since we got admitted so she would let us go home if we really wanted to. It had been two days (so this is now Wednesday) and we decided that yes, we wanted to go home because I did not want Pitocin and I felt like squish just wasn’t ready to come. We were all mentally and physically exhausted from being in the hospital for two nights and needed our own bed and home to rest in.
They had us go get monitored again on Thursday and everything was perfect. Friday, I started getting really random contractions and they were only a minute to two minutes apart which is really close but the length of them was not consistent (15-45 seconds in length) so I knew that I really wasn’t in labor yet. We decided to head in to see my OB and just have her check me to make sure everything was still good and talk about what our next steps would be for Squish. I knew she wouldn’t let us go the full 42 weeks but she was willing to wait until 39+5 to see us again.
As we were leaving the appointment, I felt water run down my legs. At first I thought maybe I had peed myself without realizing it lol. Apparently that’s a thing with preggos. We decided to go back in and have her check me again. The liquid I felt ended up being amniotic fluid so my water was in fact leaking and labor was really starting. She told us to go home, eat, walk, relax and not head into the hospital for about 3 to 4 hours. She knew that I wanted to go natural so she wanted to let me labor at home as long as possible. However, when your water breaks, you are actually on a time crunch and they only give you 24 hours to get your baby out before putting you into a C-section so I didn’t really have all the time in the world.
As we are driving home from the appt, the pain that I was feeling all morning increased 100 fold. The contractions are still super frequent but definitely not consistent. They are extremely painful and happening way too often for my liking. We get home and I jump into a hot shower to try and help the pain. Jordan makes me some eggs just so that I can get some food in before we head to the hospital where they only allow you to consume ice, popsicles or apple juice. There is no eating though. I am in way too much pain and super nauseous.
We head to the hospital, get checked in and after six hours, nothing has changed. My body was not dilating at all and I’m still stuck at 4cm. At this point, I decided that I do need the epidural because I am unable to relax my body. When you can’t relax your body and let it work, it has a hard time working for you. Plus, the fact that I am on the clock and I’ve already wasted six hours started to stress me out because I did not want a C-section. Another reason for the epidural was that I needed to rest and relax if i was going to be able to push my baby out. Sometimes we use all our energy in getting through the contractions that we have nothing left when it comes time to push. This is bad because you’ll ultimately end up in a c section if you cannot push the baby out within 3 hours.
After I got the epidural I did start to progress rather quickly. I also started to develop a fever so they gave us Tylenol. As I was entering transition, the epidural started to wear off on my right side. I could feel the pain and became extremely nauseous and threw up. Zero fun lol.
After 16 1/2 hours of my water breaking, it was time to push! Yay! I ended up pushing for 54 minutes and am so grateful for that considering some have to push for 2-3 hours. With the final push, Squish kind of shot out of me and the doctor had to catch her. It was something we only thought happened in movies lol. Jordan was blown away by it and by the size of her:)
I ended up with a second degree tear and more hemorrhoids than I ever imagined which has made the healing process rather fun (insert upside down smiley emoji here;))
Overall, It was definitely a crazy experience and nothing that I was really prepared for. It almost felt animalistic to me. You do your best to prepare but just can’t fully prepare for it. Thankfully, our Bradley Method instructor told us all along that it will never go as planned and every birth is so different so just stay open minded and be ready for anything. And that we were.
We ended up having to stay in the hospital for two days because squish had bilirubin levels that the pediatrician wasn’t comfortable with. They put her under photo light therapy for 24 hours. That was extremely hard for me to watch because I could not hold her except to feed her for 15 Minutes every three hours. They also had me supplement her with formula because my milk wasn’t in and we needed her to pee and poop a lot in order to get all of the bilirubin out. This was so important in order to prevent her from developing jaundice. I definitely cried a lot just sitting there watching her in this little box with these weird goggles over her eyes. And also because I did not want her getting formula. It was SOO hard. But, I am super grateful that we are both safe and healthy and that we were able to go home after two days.
We have just enjoyed every single minute with this little bug. I cannot believe we’ve already had her for a month! The love you have for your child is just something like you will never be able to grasp until you have a kid. Both Jordan and I can’t stop staring at her and will randomly start crying because she is so lovey and our hearts are just so full. It’s a freakin beautiful thing<3